I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
