Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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