I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
