Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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