The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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