'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
