Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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