So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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