IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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