she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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