That's intense
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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