I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
