So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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