i just google imaged poop.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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