It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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