The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
