no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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