p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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