Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
