Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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