OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
