So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
