youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
