A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
