My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just cropdusted the office
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
