...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
