your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
