I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
