The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
