I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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