I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
