I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
