jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How does one acquire holy water?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
