Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
