i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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