So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
