My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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