they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
