Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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