Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Quick, to the slutcave!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
