I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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