I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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