How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
