no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
