I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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