I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
