at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
