Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
