but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
