I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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