I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
