nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
