I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
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I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
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Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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