That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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