Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
