we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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