Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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