id be glad to
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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