Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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