If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize