If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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